I would like know to invite you to do an experiment.
Imagine yourself as a new born baby. You just took your first breath. Cold hands are on your skin. You are turned over, upside down. You hear voices, sounds, maybe you’re making these noises yourself.
At last, you’ll probably end up on your Mum’s chest, receiving your first kisses and experience of love — hearing her heartbeat from outside and then getting a gulp of a warm liquid, your first taste. Then you might land on your Dad’s chest and falling asleep in tune to his heartbeat…
How amazing! So amazing that you can imagine how happy I was when our first child was on its way. I red books, made sure my wife was prepared a bit like an athlete.
We thought the idea of her giving birth in a pool.
We went visiting the closest unit to our home, and just when the nurse was reaching her selling point, telling us how fantastic and safe it is we heard this amazing scream of pain from next door.
It was enough to convince us to go to the main hospital.
So we attended yoga classes. I bought the best pain relief machine I could find and I gave my wife regular massages to relieve her from feet and back pain.
I purchased a nice TV series about landscape and nature to relax us between the contractions and I bought some lovely meditative music to listen during the contractions time.
Everything was packed and prepared for D-Day — the Delivery Day, of course.
We had an amazing 24h delivery. I remember it like yesterday. To finally see our healthy little girl grabbing her first breath and landing safely on her Mum was a magical moment. Holding and cuddling this tiny, vulnerable, blind and barely formed body was a moving moment.
And it is magical, isn’t it? Everyone in this room went through same kind of process.
Every human on this planet have this in common.
I had a clear idea about what becoming a Dad would be. I wanted to be present, to nurture. I was determined to play my parental engagement.
I improved our nest, our house and did part of the daily tasks.
I was happy to get involved in the baby routines. As parents, it felt we were like bird taking their turn to hunt for food or care of our offspring.
Bathing, feeding, changing clothes, cleaning became a second nature.
And indeed there is nothing quite like shopping at 10:00 pm in a supermarket looking for nappies, wipes, baby milk and vaseline…
In the field of education, my dad was a role model. As a teacher and later a Secondary school director I was inspired by his philosophy, his pedagogy.
It has been a shock, as a kid, to discover that school wasn’t always my Dad’s way.
Despite his effort, I was missing our time together. His work was demanding and so was I.
Between the two my Dad struggle to choose and for years and I felt I had paid the price.
From this deep feeling I was determined to be present for our daughter from the beginning, even before birth. Involved as much as I could in parenting.
Along the way, more than the emotional and social aspect I discovered a biological one.
Another thing that, we human, share all together.
From the beginning of our conception every part of our self work together. Every single cell is programmed to work with all others, in harmony and cooperation.
And in the inevitable event of limited time, our response as a living creature is to reproduce and transmit our genetic code…
This is why our children are so precious. They carry a bit of us through space and time…
Tedx Talk: http://bit.ly/2rxW9Aw